The Rank Structure

O - 7 to O - 10: The General

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound

Is more powerful than a locomotive

Is faster than a speeding bullet

Walks on water

Gives policy to God

O - 6: The Colonel

Leaps short buildings with a single bound

Is more powerful than a switch engine

Is just as fast as a speeding bullet

Walks on water if the sea is calm

Talks to God

O - 5: The Lieutenant Colonel

Leaps short buildings with a running start and a good wind

Is almost as powerful as a switch engine

Is faster than a speeding BB

Walks on water in an indoor pool

Talks to God, if a special request is approved

O - 4: The Major

Barely clears a quonset hut

Loses a tug of war with a locomotive

Can fire a speeding bullet

Can swim well

Is occasionally addressed by God

O - 3: The Captain

Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings

Is run over by locomotives

Can occasionally handle a firearm without inflicting self injury

Can doggie paddle

Talks to animals

O - 2: The 1st Lieutenant

Runs into buildings

Recognizes locomotives (2 out of 3 times)

Is not issued ammo

Can stay afloat if properly instructed

Talks to water

O - 1: The 2nd Lieutenant

Falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings

Says "Look at the pretty choo choo"

Throws rocks

Sinks in water

Mumbles to himself

The NCO

Lifts buildings & walks under them

Kicks locomotives off the track

Catches speeding bullets in his teeth & chews them up

Freezes water with a single glance

Is God